(Source: likecalum, via heartache-hood)

"This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I’d gotten the time of the train wrong.
I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.
I want you to picture the scene. It’s very important that you get this very clear in your mind.
Here’s the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There’s a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.
It didn’t look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.
Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There’s nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.
You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know… But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn’t do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?
In the end I thought, nothing for it, I’ll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn’t because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.
Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice …” I mean, it doesn’t really work.
We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.
Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.
The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who’s had the same exact story, only he doesn’t have the punch line."

— Douglas Adams (via revolverwife)

(Source: sexhaver, via katieeeebleh)

heartbrakegirl:

Twitter deleted Calum’s “Why would I risk my life to cross the road it’s called common sense motherfucker I’m out” and Michael’s “Real bands save fans, real fans save bands” Tweets.

(via michfordclifael)

HOW IS THIS THE SAME PERSON?

chasseresse-de-la-lune:

jaegerqueer:

beaconhillsdemons:

latinkilledtheromans:

image

image

Forever reblog

puberty happened,

Puberty happened, and it was astounding  

(via cliffcolada)

THIS GIF WORKS FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING

fmlcal:

perksofbeinganinja:

image

"I have merch for you"

image

"I bought you concert tickets"

image

"I kidnapped a band for you"

image

"My name is Luke Hemmings and I’m horny"

image

"Brian Dales"

image

"5 Seconds of-"

image

"I am willing to give $2 million dollars to the next person who touches me."

image

"Candy"

image

"Free Wi-Fi"

THE BRIAN DALES ONE! I FEEL THAT SO HARD!

(via downunderirwin)

spicy-vagina-tacos:

metrobussy:

releasings:

new haircut :)

see this selfie? none of us will have a selfie like this selfie. none of us are this man. none of us will ever post anything that gets as many notes as this selfie. oh, you have a hundred note selfie? cool. oh, you have a thousand note selfie? nice. but this guy? this guy’s got 44k notes on his selfie because he got a new fucking haircut. he’s been on every kind of blog. pale grunge, soft ghetto, comedy, fandom, all of them. none of us will ever have a selfie quite like this. we’re pathetic. we’re nothing, we graduate and get 50 notes on our selfies, he gets a new haircut, and he gets 44 thousand. who are we? nobody, that’s who.

yo im happy for u and imma let u finish but


go girl spicy-vagina-tacos right here dropped the best selfie of all time

spicy-vagina-tacos:

metrobussy:

releasings:

new haircut :)

see this selfie? none of us will have a selfie like this selfie. none of us are this man. none of us will ever post anything that gets as many notes as this selfie. oh, you have a hundred note selfie? cool. oh, you have a thousand note selfie? nice. but this guy? this guy’s got 44k notes on his selfie because he got a new fucking haircut. he’s been on every kind of blog. pale grunge, soft ghetto, comedy, fandom, all of them. none of us will ever have a selfie quite like this. we’re pathetic. we’re nothing, we graduate and get 50 notes on our selfies, he gets a new haircut, and he gets 44 thousand. who are we? nobody, that’s who.

yo im happy for u and imma let u finish but

go girl spicy-vagina-tacos right here dropped the best selfie of all time

(via 5secondsofassbutts)

drunkaster:

one direction is kind of like that tv show that starts out all cute and innocent but by the third season everything’s gone crazy and doesn’t make sense but you keep watching because you have to

(via cliffcolada)

Me when I saw pictures of Michael with his brown hair

mockingsarcasm:

schnephanie:

I do not care if you are my mortal enemy, if you ask me to do a period check on your behind to make sure your pants are still good i got your back dude

(via 5sosordie)

jandjob:

image

(via downunderirwin)

folieadude:

he’s one of us

folieadude:

he’s one of us

(via ashton-1996-malum-fan)

That's how it goes

  • Everyone else on tumblr: Makes perfect edits & GIFS
  • Everyone else on tumblr: Has 30,000 followers
  • Everyone else on tumblr: gets 100's of asks every day
  • Me: Reblogs stuff
genderfreeharry:

zouis [2010-2014]

genderfreeharry:

zouis [2010-2014]

(via whatislifewhatisair)